I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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