I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i was born a porn star she said
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
