it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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