____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
accomplished twins. life is a go
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
