she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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