That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
