She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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