my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
