apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
