i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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