Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
