he wants to bone in the snuggie
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
