garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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