What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
