Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
