EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
