i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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