I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
