i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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