Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
