The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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