Having a random hookup so left but love u
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
