My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Randomize
