Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
