were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Farmville is her only friend.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
