I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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