she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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