sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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