Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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