Non-Jews are for practice
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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