its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
