ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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