They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
