I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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