Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
