Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
