things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
