When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
