apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm experimenting with sincerity
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
