I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
