She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
