member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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