No awkward lesbian experiences without me
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
