sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
