dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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