I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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