im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
