i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I want to fling myself into the sun
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
