He disabled his match.com account in front of me
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
