Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
