is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
