hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
