She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
